my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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