I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
