Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
