Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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