i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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