I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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