the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
