im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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