In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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