I feel like abortions should bother me more
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
