How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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