She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize