Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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