There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
