Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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