well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
