Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
