I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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