Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
