I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
