Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
