You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
