Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
