I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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