Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
