ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
