Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
