Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we made out on top of his cat.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
