Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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