Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
