there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
