I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Bring me that man meat
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
