Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize