her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He felt like a one man threesome
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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