Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
