508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
