Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
