Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
