think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
