so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
