I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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