u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
