I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
two words...techno handjob
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
