nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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