So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
