i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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