Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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