He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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