It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
