we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
