i think my tv is drunk
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
