It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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