is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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