How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
