His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
