but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
