Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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