I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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