come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
