i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
